Being a deeply sentimental person is one of my greatest downfalls. You would think that that would be a great characteristic, building charm and appeal to a one’s personality. This means that you make others happy, right? You’re so caring and thoughtful that you remember significant things about everyone that you meet. You remember the things that they love and feel this flutter inside when you see it, knowing that this is something that would make them smile, if only for a minute. I’ve always said that I collect pieces of people as I go along, and I carry them all with me, like pins on a Girl Scout uniform. I strive to find the good in everyone, and I try my best to focus on that, no matter what kind of circumstances on which our friendships or relationships ended. I pride myself in knowing that I can appreciate everyone that enters and exits my life.
I will remember your favorite band and the songs we used to ride around belting out at the top of our lungs. I will cherish the days and nights that we spent filled with laughter, even if it was through tears, and I will reminisce about the good before I ever think of the bad. I will remember your favorite shirt that you wore all the time. I will always think of you when I see your favorite animal on something. I am the sentimental one that will hear a song that makes me think of someone from years past, and I will reach out to let them know that I remember by sending a YouTube link for the video, hoping to raise some nostalgia on their end. If their favorite movie is on television, then I will shoot them a message to let them know so that they can catch it, too. When I hear “their song” on the radio, I’ll send them a Snapchat video so they can hear their favorite part. If we spent nights together looking at the stars, then I will still text you to tell you to look at the moon. To me, this is the greatest act of an understood lasting friendship. Like, “Hey, I know we don’t talk much (or sometimes at all) but I was thinking of you, and I hope you’re doing well.” To know that someone thought of me for whatever reason, whether it be a big or small memory, and they wanted me to remember, too, warms my heart to no end.
People love Facebook because they can keep up with friends and family far and wide. You can reconnect with people that you haven’t seen or spoken to in years. You can watch your childhood friends get married, have children and get to see them grow up via Facebook pictures. I love seeing the people that I know doing well and seeing them share things that they love. It’s a pretty cool concept. What’s not so cool is when people like me try to make that connection with someone simply in hopes of making them smile today, and all I receive back is the “Read” notification on Facebook Messenger. Granted, we’re all adults now. I am well aware that we’re all busy with our jobs and families. Please understand that I am not trying to live in the past. I just like to make people realize that their impact on someone’s life is not replaceable. It is heart shattering, because I know that we make time for the things that we want to. It takes a second to send back a smiley face or some kind of acknowledgment. It is a solid notification that tells me that something that made me smile for a second was not reciprocated on their end.
It cuts deep and makes you question whether your friendship meant anything to them at all. I always want to be someone that people look back on and think, “She was a great friend to me. We had lots of fun together.” I don’t think that’s asking for too much. Isn’t that what friendships are supposed to be for? If we weren’t meant to carry these memories with us, then what was the point in making them? Maybe being sensitive is too much of a burden in today’s day and age, where almost everyone is so easily accessible through the internet. Maybe some people would rather leave everyone and everything behind them. Maybe I should start keeping these sentiments to myself, but if I did that, then I wouldn’t be true to myself. So, I’ll keep sending these messages. I’ll keep letting you know that you are remembered, and our memories are cherished and appreciated. I’ll keep making myself vulnerable to these people that may think I was disposable. Even if I was disposable to you, you are still special to me, and I still wish you well, old friend.